yes

"do you want to try again?"
i look at her and she is all kindness. i see it in her eyes. this woman cares for me. she cares for me in the same way she cares for my body. checking things over. making sure everything is back to the way it was. before.
"do you want to try again?"
i wonder what she would say if she knew how her words kill me.
implying failure. my son was not a failed attempt at anything. he was not a mistake, accident, or trial. he was who he was, and for the two days that he lived he changed my life more than most people could in a hundred years.
"do you want to try again?"
i do not tell her any of this. she means no harm. she cares for me, the same way she cares for my body. everything in it's proper place, performing it's proper function.
"yes." i answer.
simply, "yes."