just a small trickle of spit, sliding down the face of true love

i do not (usually) like to speak badly of loved ones.
however, the words "deserving" and "warrented" come to mind.

i do not expect much from people and i am hardly ever disappointed.
somehow, or other, i thought (felt) that this valentines day i was worth a little more than a nickel sized, green goober on the floor of the shower.

this is my justification.

my sales pitch

i am terrified of making new friends.
there is a space, of a few seconds, when i must decide if what i am going to say is worth the risk.
if i give away too much, i come across needy and scary.
if i give away too little, i am cold and uninviting.
i have to choose (very carefully) which face i am going to show.
this never lasts long.
i am terrible at subterfuge.
try as i may, i can't pretend to be interested in scrap booking.
i cannot feign fascination with your children or your wedding pictures.
i might as well tell you, straight out, that i am something of a bitch.
but, i am a loyal one, and i am capable (in extreme circumstances) of immeasurable kindness.
that being said, if you can learn not to take me too seriously, and try not to bore me, i promise, i'll always have your back.