Tuesday, January 13, 2009
my mother
i never know what brings it on. suddenly i'll find myself just really missing my mom. i can go days, weeks without thinking about her and then WHAM! it's like a blow to the chest. i think "my god, she would love this." as soren talks to me from the living room or greenleaf sings one of her weird made up songs. she knew what to do when someone was sick and she had the best recipes stored in her head. she knew just how to symapthize with you when you just needed someone to be on your side. people like to act like they "know" exactly what happens when someone dies, "they go to heaven or hell." i'm not so sure it's that cut and dry. i'm not worried about mom's immortal soul, i think she's safe, and i hope she's happy. i do wonder where she is and what she's doing "oh, she's worshipping god." how boring. i hope she's doing something more interesting than that. i hope she's doing the things that she couldn't do in life because her sick body held her back. i hope she's floating in some warm crystal clear water off a beautiful beach. i hope she's swimming with dolphins. it would be just as easy to worship god from the water don't you think? maybe more so.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm so glad you put those thoughts to words. We certainly do have a dull, limited view of whatever else might be happening.
Anyways, this makes me think about doing a better job of making sure James can say similar things about me someday. Especially about knowing I'm on his side.
I was gonna write something kinda cheesy like 'your mom would be- or IS- proud of you' but, you know, best leave that to the imagination. Your's is better than most!
my view might be the most limited of all. my imagination can never get beyond the constraints of my mortal flesh. there must be greater pleasures then the ones here on earth but i cannot fathom them.
Well, I think that's so great... I really do.
I'm sad for people who don't enjoy and appreciate what's going on right now- the pleasures AND the sad, bad things- because of what they understand about what's later.
How the hell do I know, and why would I limit my life now? I'm glad you don't either.
I'm always telling my mother in law (in my head) about the funny things Ivan said, or how I think Violet looks like her..or telling her about my broken heart when Malachi has a bad day. She always understood- no- not understood as much as held me up.
Post a Comment