i hurt you and i was too proud and obstinate to put my hands up.
i said "go" and "i don't want you here."
but what i meant was,
"i'm an idiot" , "i didn't mean it" and "forgive me, please. i love you."
i don't know how my words get so garbled on their journey from my heart to my mouth.
2 comments:
I don't know how many people read your blog, and maybe we're all people you know love you and would forgive anything, but I still think you're brave to tell on yourself. I always worry that my friends will think something's wrong if I ever tell them about my dumb mistakes that happen in my relationship, but I'm glad that you did tell, because I could have written something on the same order dozens of times. Nice to be reminded that I'm in such good company, dear h. Always, eventually, what we really meant does come out, thankfully. But I'd like to figure out how to keep it from getting garbled at first, too.
i'm pretty sure that everyone who reads this loves me so i'm really not as brave as you think i am. it took more bravery to face d when he came back home. it's strange how nerve wracking apologizing can be. i really have to build myself up in order to lay myself down. thanks for confessing to the garbled tongue virus. take two grovels and call me in the morning.
loves.
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